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Reggie from the Blackrock Road prepares to jump from camera to stage

As a weanling housewife many years ago, I was told that I never need worry about entertaining Cork people: they only want to talk about themselves. The truth of this advice must be part of the success – which might be called roaring if it were not delivered sotto voce – of Patrick FitzPatrick’s alias as Reggie, a personality shortly to jump the ravine from camera to stage, sotto voce and all.

It might not be too great a leap: in one form or another, FitzPatrick has been performing for several years by now, merging his enlarged – and socially exaggerated – agony column Ask Audrey to a broadcast series on Red FM in which Reggie was a minor character among others in his scripts.

“I know people like Reggie,” FitzPatrick says now. “And I really know Cork city well and its various languages. I know that there’s a right and a wrong side of the Rochestown Road, but my characters are universal, the pretensions are the same everywhere.” After a slight pause, he adds that “the GAA plays a big part in the scripts, really.”

As we meet in the city’s Metropole Hotel, it seems too ironic to be plausible that this very template of the urban legend of the Cork woman rushing into the street crying that “my son the engineer is drowning!” should be in fact an engineer.

Writing gags for Brendan O’Connor’s Saturday night TV show was the hardest, and the best, thing I’ve ever done. That was how I learned to land a joke

It’s an irony that FitzPatrick enjoys; the mill of his comedy is always ready for grist. It’s no great surprise, then, that when his original radio commentaries in studio sessions were upended by Covid, he took his phone and his research to the South Mall, still Cork’s legal and business epicentre, bristling with brass plates. Where else for a man commenting from his exclusive fastness on the Blackrock Road who has little to say for Limerick, a city that allows plumbers to play rugby? Or who acknowledges that one of the passions of his otherwise apparently orderly life is a campaign to keep “the Norries” who live on the north side of the river (itself sometimes called the moat) from trespassing on the southern Marina? Or who will ponder the influence of Roy Keane on the Cork accent and equally query why the people of Passage West always want to announce where they come from: “Guilt, I suppose.”

It wasn’t always thus. An engineer, after all. So reared in Kinsale, educated first at Presentation Brothers’ College (Pres to the Cork cognoscenti), a graduate of UCC and then spending 14 years in Dublin, where the mantle of the Cork mafia fell on FitzPatrick’s shoulders through the encouragement of journalist and broadcaster Brendan O’Connor, who introduced him to the potential of journalism. And to a career in jokes.

“My characters are universal, the pretensions are the same everywhere.” Photograph: Miki Barlok
Patrick FitzPatrick as Reggie at the Everyman Theatre. Photograph: Miki Barlok

“He got me going, although it was a bit of the Celtic Tiger madness to make that change from IT. But writing gags for O’Connor’s Saturday night TV show was the hardest, and the best, thing I’ve ever done. That was how I learned to land a joke, and that has really paid off in terms of Reggie.”

Ah, Reggie. Reggie of the whispered aspersions from his multi-million-euro mansion in superb surburbia will be alive and well on the Everyman stage for three weeks in April. Everyman’s artistic director, Sophie Motley, agrees that it’s a long stint for a one-man show. And isn’t meeting your heroes always a risk? Could the transition from screen to stage deflate the impact of a character so successful on Twitter that it has, as they say, “gone viral”?

“No, I think through working with Pat Kiernan it has been condensed into something larger than life,” says Motley. “After all, he has been a performer for years. I think that people will want to come and see this person who had helped so many of us get through the past two years. There’s something intriguing and exciting about that. And it also shows how by being utterly local you can be national and even international at the same time. People all over the world tune in to Reggie – and now he’s being taken on to another sphere.”

Motley’s robust confidence is bolstered not only by the fact of very good early ticket sales but by the pairing of FitzPatrick and Corcadorca’s Kiernan, thus, she believes, surrounding Reggie with the experience, tools, techniques and magic of incredibly talented people. People such as Irene O’Mara, lecturer and voice coach at the MTU Cork School of Music, who must meet the challenge of tone and pace presented by an auditorium to a performer whose style is a confidential undertone.

As surnames are too common, Reggie doesn’t admit to one; neither can he find “any crack at all” in religion or politics. He’s too pious to talk about sex (although there was that Maureen in Kerry), but somehow it seems to be here, so allusively that it’s almost gone before you laugh, as with the woman who does “this amazing thing with her tongue – very open-minded”. Or with the reminder that trust is so important when you’re cheating on your wife.

Facebook is a bit Turner’s Cross for him and, to be honest, he’d rather lick the street of Cappoquin than allow a Norrie into the Royal Cork Yacht Club. For more social complexity, the northside includes Montenotte and Sunday’s Well but those old merchant elites cannot alleviate Reggie’s disdain.

Patrick FitzPatrick as Reggie at the Everyman Theatre. Photograph: Miki Barlok
‘My characters are universal, the pretensions are the same everywhere.’ Photograph: Miki Barlok

The narrative fluency of his obscenities has the casual ease of chat with the lads, although he assures me that he only uses the toned-down versions. “I try to avoid any actual nastiness. Anyway, the Norries always win out. It’s not a derogatory term really and basically they just don’t care what anyone says about them. They get the jobs.”

With friends who share his patois, he is secure in the nicknames and the double or quadruple titles, although Seán Mac Seán Mac O’Shea O’Shea surely arises from his parents’ decision to link him forever to a grandfather’s tradition of Patrick FitzPatrick? No, he says, “It’s a Kerry thing, I just repeated it.”

He is what he hears, but that disguises the more reflective personality who has found a Cork peculiarity to hone a viewpoint echoing in asides. a slanted sentence, a lifted eyebrow, a question. He wonders what the internet offers to posterity, there’s no telling how it will age, and the challenge for him is to make something more substantial.

He’s not straining for anyone’s attention either. The Reggie clips are only two minutes long, there’s no commitment – share it, move on. “And there are no consequences, really. A bit like Boris Johnson, that fake sincerity. The really strange thing is that essentially Reggie is talking to himself.”

‘It’s a very Cork context,’ he admits, ‘but then Cork people are everywhere’

The impression is often of some delicious gossip culled from a life lived close to Cork’s own self-satisfaction. “It’s a very Cork context,” he admits, “but then Cork people are everywhere.” And everywhere is flesh for his scalpel; that localities have their own hilarity was brought into blistering focus with the pandemic restrictions forbidding movement outside the county bounds.

“Kilmallock,” he muses. “Mentioning a place has a great resonance, especially for Irish people. And it’s true, in a way, I’m also aiming for the kind of thing that Dame Edna does, finding the right punchline. Some words sound funnier than others. Kanturk lands better, somehow.”

“It’s not just me coming out with a mike, there’s a flow to it,” says FitzPatrick of the one-man show. Photograph: Miki Barlok
‘It’s not just me coming out with a mike, there’s a flow to it,’ says FitzPatrick of the one-man show. Photograph: Miki Barlok

That hinterland of country towns is harvested for Ask Audrey in the Irish Examiner, for which FitzPatrick also writes parenting advice and television reviews. There have also been books but of these several staples of his career so far, Reggie has been the most profitable, “relatively speaking”. That career so far has led to getting on the stage. “I wanted to do it live, and the theatre’s PR Jean Kearney put me in touch with Everyman and Sophie and from there to Pat Kiernan, a director with a great pedigree.”

In rehearsal at Ballymaloe’s Grain Store, the performance is shaped to have purpose. There has been quite a lot of re-writing and sharpening: “It’s not just me coming out with a mike, there’s a flow to it. As for where it will lead, I don’t know, except that working with people who know what they’re doing is the way to go now. Wherever that may be.’ As always, the conversation ends in a question, reminding me of Reggie’s invitation to his friends to select a Kerry town they might like to see moved to Cork: “But you’d be wasting your time now offering Listowel.”

An Evening with Reggie opens at The Everyman Cork on April 2nd

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Can’t afford a house? Move to Germany! Grand Design’s star Kevin McCloud urges first time buyers to relocate to the country because of its ‘healthy and resilient’ property market

Grand Designs star Kevin McCloud has told first time buyers if they can’t afford to buy a house ‘move to Germany‘. 

The TV presenter advised young people looking to get on the property ladder to abandon their hopes of buying a house in the UK and instead ‘move to another country where the housing market is healthy’.  

He told the news website JOE that almost every other North European country and Canada have got ‘really healthy markets, lots of diverse opportunities, lots of diverse offers and it isn’t hugely expensive’.

The 64-year-old said: ‘My advice is move to Germany, maybe that’s the way forward.’

McCloud also took aim at ‘immoral’ housing developers, who he claims now make on average £68,000 profit per house or per flat, compared to 2009, when the figure was ten times less. 

Grand Designs star Kevin McCloud who has told first time buyers if they can't afford to buy a house 'move to Germany'

Grand Designs star Kevin McCloud who has told first time buyers if they can’t afford to buy a house ‘move to Germany’

The TV presenter (pictured) advised young people looking to 'move to another country where the housing market is healthy'

The TV presenter (pictured) advised young people looking to ‘move to another country where the housing market is healthy’

First-time buyers purchased 33% of homes sold in the UK so far this year, marking an all-time high

First-time buyers purchased 33% of homes sold in the UK so far this year, marking an all-time high

He claimed the average profit ‘big housing developers’ now make every time they sell a house or flat was ‘about £68,000’, ten times what it was in 2009.

McCloud added: ‘They’ve shifted their focus from volume and meeting government targets to the profit they deliver to their shareholders.

‘Persimmon, the year before last made £1.1 billion of profit for their shareholders, 25 per cent of their turnover.

‘I’ve only got one word for it and I think it’s immoral.’

Speaking about the state of the UK housing market, McCloud said: ‘I look at the UK market and I see nothing good here. 

‘I look at what’s happening in Germany, Holland, Netherlands, Denmark, Scandinavia, I look at other, almost every other North European country and Canada – they’ve got really healthy markets, lots of diverse opportunities, lots of diverse offers and it isn’t hugely expensive.’

An extensive report by the Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR) concluded that Britain’s development sector is ‘warped by decades of housing market volatility, the departure of local authorities from the housebuilding sphere, and cuts to capital grant that collectively could have insulated the development market from significant shocks’. 

The report claims that ‘the UK has both a pro-cyclical housing and development marke’.

It added: ‘By contrast, Germany is in a stronger position: its mortgage market has been more tightly regulated and consequently its market (and economy) is less vulnerable to economic downturns; and housing construction is undertaken by a far greater number of actors, including large housebuilders but also, crucially, many smaller, regionally based actors and a significant not-for-profit sector (both within and outside public ownership).

‘The two countries utilise the powers of government in quite different ways. In Germany, although private enterprise is crucial in housing finance, housing development and management of stock, the state, locally and nationally, plays a far more ‘interventionist’ role – in regulation (for instance, of rents and of the mortgage market), in land assembly, and in housing development itself (albeit often through locally owned companies).

‘However, in the UK, although the parameters of policy are set by government, the trend is towards stepping back the role of the state in housing provision, and then becoming active when markets cannot achieve satisfactory outcomes (for instance by providing mortgage guarantees, or through the provision of housing benefit to households unable to afford their rent).’

The latest Nationwide house price index showed house prices fell slightly in March, with a 0.2 per cent decline in the average property value.

The monthly decline was down to seasonal adjustment – which aims to smooth out months that are typically more and less active – whereas the non-adjusted average house price actually rose slightly from £260,420 in February to £261,14 in March.

It means the typical home, according to Nationwide’s data, has edged up 1.6 per cent annually, with headline figures dragged back by southern England’s stuttering property market.

On the same day, Halifax also reported property prices fell in March, reflecting the first monthly fall since September 2023.

The major mortgage lender revealed the average home price fell 1 per cent last month, following five consecutive months of rises.

Despite reports’ focus on headline house price figures, the UK housing market doesn’t just move as one. 

A graph showing the average percentage growth in in house prices across the UK

A graph showing the average percentage growth in in house prices across the UK

This map of annual house price changes across the UK shows the North-South divide. House prices are rising in the north and falling in the south

This map of annual house price changes across the UK shows the North-South divide. House prices are rising in the north and falling in the south

It is made up of thousands of local markets that will all be performing differently from one another.

These differences can even be seen at a regional level where there is evidence of a North-South divide opening up. Prices are generally rising in the North and falling in the South.

The average house price during the first three months of 2024 in Northern Ireland, for example, is up 4.6 per cent year-on-year, according to Nationwide.

Prices in Scotland are 3.7 per cent higher over the past three months than they were during the same period in 2023.

And in the North of England the average home is up 4 per cent in the first three months of this year compared to the same period last year.

Prices in the South West are down 1.7 per cent compared to this time last year and prices in East Anglia are 1.3 per cent lower. 

Housing experts have claimed that ‘predatory’ investment funds are taking advantage of the British housing market, keeping families paying rent for longer.

There was £1.3billion of private investment in British new builds last year and almost two fifths came from American funds. 

Housing expert David Hall told MailOnline: ‘It’s no surprise at all that it’s a business model for a lot of the funds and pension funds and gives them some semblance of certainty and assurance.

‘It is going to price people out of the market. These are investment forums that are essentially vultures. They’re not social housing buddies. They’re not charities. They’re predators.

‘They’re doing nothing wrong. They’re allowed to do it. The market is wide open for predators to come in, wide open for the market to be manipulated.

Housing charity Acorn’s chief Nick Ballard told MailOnline: ‘Britain’s housing crisis should be a source of national shame.

‘Rising homelessness, 1.3 million families on council housing waiting lists and millions condemned to living in poor quality, insecure and expensive private rented accommodation are problems having a very real negative impact on people’s lives, health and on society as a whole.

‘House prices are out of reach for many and have been for years. Rising rents and the cost of living crisis mean people are finding it harder and harder to save to put down a deposit. 

‘Policies of successive Governments have led to 1.5 million council houses sold or demolished and not replaced, so these are no longer a viable option for most.

‘House building alone, particularly build-to-rent properties which will siphon money to US investment companies, will not solve the housing crisis.

‘The Government must embark on a serious building programme for social homes, to address the shortage of housing, to bring down rental prices and to provide safe, secure and stable homes that can become the foundation of happy and healthy lives.’

How does housebuilding in Germany compare with the UK? 

GERMANY  BRITAIN 
Small builders play more of a role, with a more regionalised market of housebuilders where smaller sites enjoy more attention. Reliance on small number of large housebuilders operating nationally and focused on large sites which are typically slower to develop.
Diversity in investment with the for-sale market existing alongside a stronger for-rent market and cooperative-owned and private company-owned housing.  Housebuilding dominated by the for-sale market. 
Plan-led, requiring planning permissions and work within national and regional targets. Plan-led, requiring planning permissions and work within national and regional targets. 
No hard and fast rules on urban growth containment.  Urban growth containment through greenbelt restrictions. 
Use of brownfield land encouraged through enabling policies, for example simplified planning processes.  Use of brownfield land encouraged through restriction policies on alternative land – that is, greenbelt. Some exceptions in housing zones. 
Urban development contracts designed to build infrastructure and affordable housing into development proposals.  Section 106 designed to build infrastructure and affordable housing into development proposals. 
Source: Institute for Public Policy Research

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Four farm silos listed for £200k and they can be converted to a fabulous family home

A unique opportunity to convert four silos into a luxury family home is available after planning permission was granted on a piece of land in West Norfolk.

Silos are used in farming to store grain or fermented feed for animals, but these structures are set to get a new lease of life as the local authority has given the green light for them to be converted into a three-bedroom home. 

The land is currently for sale with a price tag of £200,000, and the conversion will take considerably more funds to complete.

A unique opportunity to convert four silos into a luxury family home is available at this Norfolk plot of land for sale

Each of the silos houses is either one of the three bedrooms or bathroom facilities.

The plans also include an extension to the living space, which provides an additional room for the property’s new occupants.

The property will include an open-plan living space, comprising dining and kitchen areas.

And natural light has carefully been considered in the plans, with strategically placed windows and skylights.

The property sits in one acre of land that is at the front of the property and is surrounded by open countryside.

Chartered town planner Martin Gaine said it could be a big benefit to the future owner that the arduous work of obtaining planning permission on this property had already been done.

The silos are on the market for £200,000 and are being sold with planning permission to convert them into a three-bedroom family home

The silos are on the market for £200,000 and are being sold with planning permission to convert them into a three-bedroom family home

The applicants refined their proposal over three applications to finally get the plans approved

The applicants refined their proposal over three applications to finally get the plans approved

He explained: ‘Planning permission for this new house did not come easy – like many applications for new homes in the countryside, it took time, patience and perseverance, and a bit of good luck.’

The Government’s national planning policy is for new homes not to be built in the countryside. It states that they are better placed in existing towns where they are close to services and do not concrete over green fields.

Mr Gaine highlighted that the planners were against the proposal for this reason, and that two applications on this site were refused permission before the local planning committee of elected councillors decided on the third attempt that permission should be granted.

The silo conversion is on the outskirts of Walsoken, Norfolk, and sits in the county of Cambridgeshire on the Norfolk border in Fenland

The silo conversion is on the outskirts of Walsoken, Norfolk, and sits in the county of Cambridgeshire on the Norfolk border in Fenland

The property sits in one acre of land that is at the front of the property and is surrounded by open countryside

The property sits in one acre of land that is at the front of the property and is surrounded by open countryside

‘The planners tend to focus on the black and white wording of their policies – does the proposal comply or not?’ he said.

‘The committee members were more philosophical, praising the innovative design of the converted silos and the fact that the proposal would preserve part of the area’s agricultural history.’

Mr Gaine concluded: ‘We can be quick to criticise the planning system, but here it did its job well.

Planning expert Martin Gaine praised the planning decision for the silos

Planning expert Martin Gaine praised the planning decision for the silos

‘The applicants refined their proposal over three applications and wise heads on the planning committee looked past their policies to grant permission on the basis that it was a high-quality proposal that deserved to get the go ahead.’

The sale of the land is being handled by Hockeys estate agents, which explained in its marketing literature: ‘This conversion offers the rare opportunity to own a residence that transcends the ordinary.

‘Every detail reflects a commitment to quality craftmanship and visionary design. With its distinctive character and idyllic setting, this property presents a lifestyle opportunity unlike any other.’

The silo conversion is on the outskirts of Walsoken, Norfolk, and sits in the county of Cambridgeshire on the Norfolk border in Fenland.

It is 13.6 miles from the Norfolk town of Kings Lynn, 22.6 miles from the Cambridgeshire city of Peterborough and 26.5 miles from the Norfolk coast.

Walsoken boasts a number of amenities, including a mini supermarket, post offices, a butcher and hairdressers.

And there are schools within walking distance, with the property within the catchment area for Marshland High School – which is less than a mile away.

Watlington and Downham Market stations are both less than 10 miles away.

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Tenants prioritise ease of commute, pushing up rents in Birmingham, Chester, Cobham and Weybridge

Tenants are prioritising the ease of commuting once again as they look for a new home, according to new data from Savills.

The estate agent said this was reflected in its latest data revealing popular commuter areas with the strongest rental growth.

These areas with the best growth in the first three months of this year include Chester, Birmingham, Cobham and Weybridge, which saw values rise 3.9 per cent, 3 per cent and 2 per cent respectively.

Areas with biggest rent rises include Weybridge, where values have increased 2 per cent in the past three months

Areas with biggest rent rises include Weybridge, where values have increased 2 per cent in the past three months

It is in sharp contrast to the start of the pandemic four years ago when lockdowns prompted a ‘race for space’ in the property market as people flocked to the countryside and coastal areas.

As people return to the office, Savills said tenants are prioritizing the ease of their commute when choosing a new place to live.

The appeal of commuter belt spots such as Cobham and Weybridge is the ability to enjoy surrounding countryside combined with the amenities of a vibrant town and good transport links.

The train station in Weybridge provides train services into central London that are less than half an hour. 

Areas with biggest rent rises include the city of Chester, where values have increased 3.9 per cent in the past three months

Areas with biggest rent rises include the city of Chester, where values have increased 3.9 per cent in the past three months

Savills said urban areas generally continue to outperform their surrounding areas, with regional towns and cities growing by 8.2 per cent on the year compared to 2.3 per cent growth in surrounding areas.

Built-up areas in London’s commuter belt are also outperforming at 3.9 per cent compared to 1.5 per cent for more rural commuter belt locations.

Harriet Scanlan, of Richmond estate agency Antony Roberts, said: ‘Despite a slight increase in properties available to rent in areas popular with commuters such as our part of London, this hasn’t translated into cheaper rents. 

‘Tenants are presented with a wider array of choices, leading to an increase in viewings per property, yet landlords continue to benefit from steady rental incomes and minimal-to-no void periods.

‘However, it’s important to note while the modest increase in available properties to rent is encouraging, it’s not yet sufficient to tip the scales in favour of renters. Supply continues to lag behind demand, ensuring that rental prices remain robust.’

Growth in rental values in different regions and commuter areas
Q1 2024 Suburban Inner Commuter Outer Commuter Regional towns & cities Cotswolds & South West All Regional Offices
Quarterly growth 0.90% 0.70% 0.80% 0.90% 0.50% 0.90%
Quarterly growth, Q4 2023 -0.30% 0.30% 0.60% -0.60% -0.80% -0.20%
Annual growth 4.20% 2.20% 3.60% 7.40% 3.30% 4.00%
Growth since Mar-20 21.10% 24.30% 24.70% 26.90% 26.20% 23.90%
Source: Savills           

Expensive areas in the heart of London are not seeing a similar rise in rental values.

They increased 0.3 per cent during the first three months of this year, with Savills attributing the slowing rental growth on the market ‘slipping back into a seasonal pattern’.

It means rental values have increased by 0.9 per cent in the past three months across affluent regions, while annual growth has slowed to 4 per cent.

However, Savills explained that rents still remain significantly higher, at 18 per cent, than before the start of the pandemic.

Growth in rental values across different parts of London
Q1 2024 Prime Central London North West London South West London West London North and East London All prime London
Quarterly growth Q1 2024 0.50% 0.60% -0.10% 1.10% 0.00% 0.30%
Quarterly growth Q4 2023 -0.50% 0.50% -0.40% 0.70% 0.00% -0.10%
Annual growth 2.50% 4.10% 2.90% 6.30% 2.70% 3.20%
Growth since March 2020 14.00% 18.90% 20.70% 21.30% 15.90% 17.70%
Source: Savills             
Rents in regional towns and cities continue to outperform their surrounding areas, says Savills

Rents in regional towns and cities continue to outperform their surrounding areas, says Savills

Savills said Chester, Birmingham, Cobham and Weybridge are among the strongest performers this year, as tenants re-prioritise ease of commute.

Jessica Tomlinson, of Savills, said: ‘Rental growth picked up slightly on the quarter, however, affordability pressures and increased stock mean rental growth has settled at a much lower level compared with the last three years.

‘But rents remain at a record high, and the prospect of falling mortgage rates is expected to ease some of the financial burden on landlords.

‘Rental growth continues to exceed capital value growth, meaning that yields have improved across the sector, which will support continued investment.

‘In London, houses are now outperforming flats, signalling that the flats market maybe hitting an affordability ceiling, while tenants searching for houses typically have slightly more leeway when it comes to budget.

‘Also, a stronger sales market has constrained the number of houses to rent across the capital, particularly across west and north west London.’

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