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‘I kept telling myself that this doesn’t happen to lads’

It is Health Season in The Irish Times. In print and online, we will be offering encouragement and inspiration to help us all improve our physical and mental health in 2022. See
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While eating disorders are often associated with girls and women, the reality is that an eating disorder can affect anyone. Accepting there’s an issue and seeking help, however, can prove more challenging for boys and men, particularly when coping with the stigma.

Podcaster Keith Russell says it was only when he enrolled in lifesaving classes as a teen, that he began to become very self-aware about how he looked.

“The lifesaving classes – you’re getting in and out of the water and you’re standing on the side of the pool,” he explains. “The guys couldn’t wear shorts. The guys could only wear speedos, that’s what we were told, and I just wasn’t comfortable. I started to get very anxious about being there. I’d be nearly worrying about it all week long. As the years went on, I just got worse and worse and I’d go home crying in the evening and the anxiety just turned into depression.

I would put on a few stone by emotional eating and then I would feel even worse. So I would start trying to restrict the food and start killing myself on the treadmill

“I started to not like myself and this is where the food stuff started. I felt I had this spare tyre around my waist and it probably wasn’t even much, but I felt it was there. I started to tell myself all these things I didn’t like about myself. I didn’t like my wrists. I didn’t like my jawline. I didn’t like my hairline. I didn’t like my stomach. I didn’t like my shoulders.”

Keith sought counselling for depression, but never “really linked anything together”.

“When I was in counselling for depression we never spoke about stuff like that. Because you’re a guy, you just get on with things and sweep things under the rug. Things just got worse and worse. Because I couldn’t change my jawline, or the birthmark on my ear, I started to really focus on the things I could change – the spare tyre around my waist.”

Keith’s self-consciousness meant he found working out at the gym very stressful and felt worse after than before. “I felt I wasn’t getting anywhere and that’s when the food stuff started. I restricted food a little bit but for me it was more the binge eating. Because I was feeling so bad about myself I would just turn to food, so my weight would balloon up and down. I would put on a few stone by emotional eating and then I would feel even worse. So I would start trying to restrict the food and start killing myself on the treadmill.”

It was only last year, when Keith discovered the term body dysmorphia, that he realised he’d been living with the condition for more than 20 years.

Keith Russell: ‘It’s a daily struggle with me. Body dysmorphia has stopped me doing everything’
Keith Russell: ‘It’s a daily struggle with me. Body dysmorphia has stopped me doing everything’

Lockdown was incredibly challenging and he started to blog about his experiences and feelings to help him cope. Others who had experienced the same thing began to contact him, ultimately leading to Keith raising the issues of body dysmorphia and eating disorders with his therapist.

Having only sought support for his eating disorder in the past year, Keith says he’s still trying to come to terms with it all. “Because the waiting lists are so long, I haven’t really had any help, so I’ve had to pay for things myself. But because they’re so expensive I’ve been restricted in what help I got. I’ve got three small kids, I don’t have the funds to pay for everything myself all the time.

“It’s a daily struggle with me. Body dysmorphia has stopped me doing everything. It’s stopped me going out with my friends . . . recently I didn’t want to go bowling because I didn’t want to lean forward to throw the ball down the lane. I don’t like bringing my kids to swimming in case I have to get in. I don’t want to be on show. It has stopped me doing so many things, I’ve lost so many years of my life, so many memories that I could have made.”

In spite of the daily struggle, Keith says he’s doing much better than he was. His wife, Karina, who he hid his eating disorder from for a long time has been his “rock”.

“She’s a great sounding board and she looked after me. She’s been absolutely amazing and I wouldn’t be here without her.”

Ellen Jennings, communications officer at Bodywhys – the national voluntary organisation supporting people with eating disorders and their families – says an eating disorder can affect anyone at any stage, but for men there’s a stigma around eating disorders being a female issue, and that results in a double stigma.

“Eating disorders in men are underdiagnosed and undertreated and it can take them longer to recognise there’s a problem. And when there’s a delay, the issue can become more entrenched. More men come forward at a stage where they’re so physically unwell that they might require more intense treatment.

The media and social media have to take responsibility for what they’re putting out there

“From March to September 2020, 40 per cent of hospital admissions for eating disorders were male,” Ellen says. “The pandemic, that’s really the epitome of things being out of control – that uncertainty, the loss of routine and the usual coping methods that people had were all taken away by the pandemic and being thrust into that online environment.”

The media and social media have to take responsibility for “what they’re putting out there”, Ellen says, but cautions that the causes of eating disorders “are multiple and complex”.

For those concerned they may have an eating disorder, or for family and friends who may be concerned a loved one has an eating disorder, Ellen advises remembering to “distinguish the person from the eating disorder. Listen to their feelings without judgement. The first step is to try and open up about it, to try and have a conversation about it. And from there, if the person was comfortable to go and speak to the GP, who would then be able to refer in to a multidisciplinary team.”

Cormac Ryan.
Cormac Ryan.

Cormac Ryan was just 18 and playing minor hurling with Dublin when he began to experience episodes of dizziness, chest pain and breathlessness on the hurling pitch. He spent two weeks in coronary care, had a pacemaker fitted and was warned that he might not play hurling or football again.

“My mood really went low and I really struggled with it. Because my mood got quite low and I was quite depressed, without realising I put on a bit of weight. Nothing crazy by any means, but I did put on a bit of weight. I didn’t really take much heed of it. At that age, I had no awareness of what I looked like or what I ate. I was a stereotypical 18-year-old Irish lad, eating whatever he fancied and didn’t think anything of it.”

I found it very hard not to be aware of what everyone else looked like in the dressing room and again I just became more paranoid about it

A year later, Cormac resumed playing. “That’s when my awareness was first drawn to it. Small comments here and there from people at training and the GAA team – stupid stuff like ‘you’ve put on a bit of timber’ or ‘you need to do a bit of extra running now’, ‘that jersey’s a bit tighter on you there’. Water off a duck’s back for most people but, for whatever reason, whether it was just I was that bit more vulnerable mentally, they just stuck. And I just became really paranoid about my physical appearance, particularly when I was playing.”

When Cormac began playing for Dublin at under-21 level he became even more focused on his appearance. “Going back into an environment like that where it’s an elite sporting level, I found it very hard not to be aware of what everyone else looked like in the dressing room and again I just became more paranoid about it.”

The progression to an eating disorder was gradual, he explains. “I was the classic case of the one who falls into a bit of diet culture, bit of gym culture and a bit of fitness culture and then ends up over a gradual period of time with a full blown eating disorder.”

“I was doing the stuff you hear a million people doing in January: ‘low carb day today’, not having as many carbohydrates. Cutting out the sweets, having a protein bar instead . . . I was doing all that stuff, doing a bit more running, getting up early to go to the gym before college or work.”

Cormac says he eventually became “completely obsessive”.

Cormac Ryan: ‘I actually ended up in Lois Bridge’s treatment centre for two months’
Cormac Ryan: ‘I actually ended up in Lois Bridge’s treatment centre for two months’

“If it wasn’t ‘healthy food’ I wouldn’t eat it. I wouldn’t touch sugar. I’d find I’d get a bit anxious if I was in someone’s house and they’d offer me a bar of chocolate or a biscuit.”

By 2020 and 2021, things completely spiralled. “I was really becoming distressed. I started cutting out breakfast and then, eventually, I cut out breakfast and lunch and then I was only eating dinner, and then some days I wouldn’t have dinner. It got to the stage where all I would eat was the same one meal every day. I’d have turkey burgers, a couple of baked potatoes and broccoli – that was all I’d eat. And if I deterred from that, the next morning I’d wake up and I’d have a panic attack.

“There’d be days where I’d try and starve myself and then I started thinking about making myself get sick and that’s when things came to a head. I actually ended up in Lois Bridge’s treatment centre for two months.”

Cormac says he was in complete denial. “The day I went for my assessment in May 2021, it had gotten to the stage where I wasn’t eating, was trying to starve myself, having panic attacks and thinking about making myself get sick and I still didn’t think I had an eating disorder.

“I was in complete denial and that denial was purely driven by the fact that I was male. Completely, 100 per cent. I kept telling myself it can’t be an eating disorder, this doesn’t happen to lads, lads don’t get this problem – and that delayed me getting help probably for two or three years.”

Cormac says he hid his eating disorder from his family. “I was working as a physio. I’d be like, ‘Oh, having breakfast in work’, and I’d tell them I had my lunch in work and I just wouldn’t. I’d come home in the evening and sometimes I’d have a bit of dinner and sometimes I wouldn’t, but I’d be very sly and tactical about it. I might go out for a walk and tell them when I got back, ‘Oh, I was out with the lads and we got food’. No mother or father thinks their 28-year-old son is going to have an eating disorder.”

The voice is still there . . . in certain situations, like going out for dinner, the voice can get a bit louder, but I know how to manage it now

Cormac says he was “terrified” entering the clinic on the first day, but had a very positive experience. “There was seven of us for most of the time, four girls and three lads,” he says, who supported each other, including through meal times. “I had an amazing experience . . . to the point where they massively turned things around for me. To fully recover it can take anywhere from five to seven years. The voice is still there . . . in certain situations, like going out for dinner, the voice can get a bit louder, but I know how to manage it now.

“When things were very bad in March and April [of 2021] 99 per cent of my day was completely consumed by worrying about what I looked like, worrying about what I weighed, worrying about what I’d eat or, more so, worrying about how I could manage to not eat. Now, to be honest, 90-95 per cent of the day, I’m pretty much at peace.”

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Air-b-n-banned! Two-bed cottage with no electricity along Dorset’s crumbling Jurassic Coast goes to auction at £225,000 – but is barred from being rented out as holiday home due to 121-year-old covenant

A two-bedroom cottage with no electricity along Dorset’s crumbling Jurassic Coast is on sale for £225,000 – but is barred from being rented as a holiday home due to a 121-year-old covenant.  

The former coastguard cottage is in a row of seven properties perched on a 500ft high chalk headland on Britain’s World Heritage Jurassic Coast with stunning sea views near Weymouth, in Dorset.

The mid-terrace home is completely off grid with no mains services and can only be accessed down a muddy farm track in a 4×4. 

Up for auction at just £225,000, estate agents have warned the property needs ‘everything done’, including water and electricity. 

Adam Taylor, from Symonds & Sampson estate agents, said: ‘It needs everything done – there is no form of electric, it’s all candle light. There’s no mains services at all, it’s completely off grid. 

‘Someone would need to put in solar, water, a new septic tank, a new kitchen and bathroom. 

An off-grid clifftop cottage (pictured second to the left) has gone up for sale for £225,000 but the new owners will be banned from renting it out as an AirBnb due to a 121-year-old covenant

An off-grid clifftop cottage (pictured second to the left) has gone up for sale for £225,000 but the new owners will be banned from renting it out as an AirBnb due to a 121-year-old covenant

The former coastguard cottage is in a row of seven properties perched on a 500ft high chalk headland near Weymouth, in Dorset

The former coastguard cottage is in a row of seven properties perched on a 500ft high chalk headland near Weymouth, in Dorset

The mid-terrace home is completely off grid with no mains services

The mid-terrace home is completely off grid with no mains services 

The cottage is one of seven that was built in the early 1900s and has just 761 sq ft of accommodation

 The cottage is one of seven that was built in the early 1900s and has just 761 sq ft of accommodation

‘There’s plenty of options there for people. It’s one where people are either going to love it or hate it.’ 

A number of large rockfalls have taken place along the Jurassic Coast in recent years as the English south east coastline is slowly being eroded away by weather. 

Meanwhile, while the home would make an ideal weekend bolthole, it cannot be used as a holiday let. 

A covenant – a legal obligation in the title deeds that new owners must abide by – was made on the coastguard property in 1902 by the Weld estate, a major Dorset landowner, who is thought to have not wanted any strangers on their land. 

The property, which will be sold at auction with a guide price of £225,000, requires renovation throughout and is also in need of a new septic tank. Gas is provided by the bottle. 

The covenant the property can only be used ‘for the purpose of a private residence’ as well as laying out rules about making alterations and not allowing businesses to be set up at the site. 

The legal obligation is something holiday hotspots in Devon and Cornwall would undoubtedly like to see more of, but such covenants are hardly created anymore as they would affect property values and put buyers off.

Estate agents Symonds & Sampson have described the cottage as ‘truly unique’.

The seven cottages were built in the early 1900s and at one point would have housed about 40 people between the coastguards and their families.

It has a cosy sitting/dining room and separate kitchen downstairs

It has a cosy sitting/dining room and separate kitchen downstairs 

The living room features an in built fireplace and 1900s inspired decor

The living room features an in built fireplace and 1900s inspired decor

The current owner has had number 2 as a second home for 40 years and it has just 761 sq ft of accommodation with a sitting/dining room and separate kitchen downstairs and two bedrooms and a shower room upstairs.

Outside is a walled garden separating the properties from the coast path, parking and a small outbuilding.

It is located along a stretch of the Jurassic Coast, one mile to the Church of St Catherine-by-the-Sea at Holworth and a little further to the hamlet of Ringstead, with Weymouth seven miles away.

The houses have sweeping views along the coast to Weymouth and Portland as well as Durdle Door, Lulworth Cove and St Aldhelm’s Head.

Just 100 yards from the cottage is a zig-zag Smuggler’s Path, which snakes down to the beach, and at the top of the cliff is a Second World War pillbox.

Much of the surrounding land is owned by the National Trust and the only vehicle access is through a locked gate from the National Trust car park, down 1.5 miles of farm track.

Mr Taylor said: ‘The cottage occupies a dramatic location, right on the edge of White Nothe cliff. 

‘The views out to sea and along the coast to Weymouth and Portland are simply breathtaking.

‘But the cottage is set slightly lower than the cliff to protect it from the wind so you don’t have views from the ground floor, the only view is from the first floor window.

‘The property requires renovation throughout but it offers something rare in today’s hectic world – a unique, peaceful and remote position on the Jurassic coast path within an area abundant in wildlife combined with the facilities for self-sufficiency.

The houses have sweeping views along the coast to Weymouth and Portland as well as Durdle Door, Lulworth Cove and St Aldhelm's Head

The houses have sweeping views along the coast to Weymouth and Portland as well as Durdle Door, Lulworth Cove and St Aldhelm’s Head

Just 100 yards from the cottage is a zig-zag Smuggler's Path, which snakes down to the beach, and at the top of the cliff is a Second World War pillbox

Just 100 yards from the cottage is a zig-zag Smuggler’s Path, which snakes down to the beach, and at the top of the cliff is a Second World War pillbox

Outside is a walled garden separating the properties from the coast path, parking and a small outbuilding

Outside is a walled garden separating the properties from the coast path, parking and a small outbuilding

The cottage can only be accessed down a muddy farm track in a 4x4

 The cottage can only be accessed down a muddy farm track in a 4×4

‘I think it will be a second home, a bolthole retreat. It cannot be used for a holiday let due to the covenant. 

‘I think restrictive covenants are good in some cases – if you own a beautiful cottage on a cliff top you would not want people you don’t know turning up and being noisy.

‘But in villages I think it would mean you could lose quite a lot of value.

‘You could live there full time if you wanted but your access is from the National Trust car park at Ringstead, 1.5 miles through farmland and National Trust land and the only real way to get through is via four-wheel drive.

‘It’s a special place.’

Due to the remote location and difficulties of access, the agents are only holding two days of viewings on September 5 and 6.

The cottage will be sold at auction in Sherborne, Dorset, on September 21, with a guide price of £225,000.

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Now that’s above par! Property-hunters can live at the ‘Home of Golf’ after flat overlooking the 18th hole at St Andrew’s went on sale for £2.3million

Property-hunters have the chance to live at the ‘Home of Golf’ after a flat overlooking the 18th hole at St Andrew’s went on sale for £2.3 million.

The plush pad is located in the 128-year-old Hamilton Grand apartment building, a luxurious Victorian development at the iconic Scottish golf course in Fife.

The 1,000 sq ft property features two impressive balconies which have stunning views of the 18th green at the one of the world’s most famous courses.

Its new owner will have access to a butler service, private chefs and full housekeeping services and can also benefit from a membership to Kohler Waters Spa.

The Hamilton Grand building underwent extensive restoration in 2010 and has proven a magnet for ultra-rich golf fans from across the globe since then.

Property-hunters have the chance to live at the 'Home of Golf' after a flat overlooking the 18th hole at St Andrew's went on sale for £2.3 million

Property-hunters have the chance to live at the ‘Home of Golf’ after a flat overlooking the 18th hole at St Andrew’s went on sale for £2.3 million

The twin French doors offer the best view of the iconic course, giving the new homeowners a clear view of the 18th Green and fairway of the Old Course.

The twin French doors offer the best view of the iconic course, giving the new homeowners a clear view of the 18th Green and fairway of the Old Course.

It boasts lavishly decorated apartment with wooden floors and a Georgian styled fireplace, as well as a well-equipped kitchen

It boasts lavishly decorated apartment with wooden floors and a Georgian styled fireplace, as well as a well-equipped kitchen

Other flats in the 26 apartment building have fetched upwards of £4 million, but this dream home is listed for offers over £2.3 million - the equivalent of £2,212 per foot

Other flats in the 26 apartment building have fetched upwards of £4 million, but this dream home is listed for offers over £2.3 million – the equivalent of £2,212 per foot

Other flats in the 26 apartment building have fetched upwards of £4 million, but this dream home is listed for offers over £2.3 million – the equivalent of £2,212 per foot.

Property manager Jamie Macnab, from Savills estate agents handling the sale, said: ‘This is a dream property for any golfer.

‘It offers a grandstand view over the final green of the most famous golf course in the world.

‘No 16 Hamilton Grand was one of the first units to sell after the refurbishment and is one of the best units in the building.

‘It is central to the main elevation on the third floor. It has four arched windows and two balconies overlooking the 18th green of the world-famous Old Course.

‘The appeal of St Andrews and The Old Course is sometimes overlooked by UK buyers but attracts wealthy buyers from all over the world who love the game of golf.

‘Most people assume that all of the buyers are American but the residents of Hamilton Grand are from all over the world, including several different European countries.

‘This is a very rare opportunity to buy a piece of Scottish golfing heritage’

The two-bed home is apartment number 16 and sports a 24-hour manned butler’s desk located in a grand lobby.

It boasts lavishly decorated apartment with wooden floors and a Georgian styled fireplace, as well as a well-equipped kitchen.

Each bedroom has its own bathroom attached, with one sporting a luxury jacuzzi and a tiled shower.

The twin French doors offer the best view of the iconic course, giving the new homeowners a clear view of the 18th Green and fairway of the Old Course.

The two-bed home is apartment number 16 and sports a 24-hour manned butler's desk located in a grand lobby (pictured)

The two-bed home is apartment number 16 and sports a 24-hour manned butler’s desk located in a grand lobby (pictured)

The flat has four arched windows and two balconies overlooking the 18th green of the world-famous Old Course

The flat has four arched windows and two balconies overlooking the 18th green of the world-famous Old Course

Each bedroom has its own bathroom attached, with one sporting a luxury jacuzzi and a tiled shower

Each bedroom has its own bathroom attached, with one sporting a luxury jacuzzi and a tiled shower

The beautiful apartment has been described as 'a very rare opportunity to buy a piece of Scottish golfing heritage'

The beautiful apartment has been described as ‘a very rare opportunity to buy a piece of Scottish golfing heritage’

The well-equipped kitchen has one of the best views of the course, as it is placed beside one of the main balconies

The well-equipped kitchen has one of the best views of the course, as it is placed beside one of the main balconies 

The Old Course at St Andrews is widely considered the oldest golf course in the world after it was founded in 1552 and celebrated its 150th Open last year.

St Andrews Links run five annual golfing tournaments throughout the year, including the prestigious St Andrews Links Trophy.

Globally renowned for its ancient university, golfing heritage and scenic beach, St Andrews attracts more than half a million visitors each year.

The seaside destination is famed for its intricate and beautiful Scottish architecture, as well as its University founded in 1413.

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Hollywood Studios Reach Tentative Agreement With Screenwriters To End The Strike

The picket line of writers and actors outside Netflix offices in Los Angeles.

The picket line of writers and actors outside Netflix offices in Los Angeles.

A happy ending in Hollywood. The studios and the writers’ union have reached a tentative agreement to end the screenwriters’ strike that has brought the world of film and television in the United States to a halt for nearly five months.

After four days of negotiations, Hollywood studios and the Writers Guild of America (WGA) managed to set down the bases of a new collective agreement. The deal announced Sunday unblocks one of the longest labor conflicts in the industry, with the strike now at 146 days.

“We can say, with great pride, that this deal is exceptional, with meaningful gains and protections for writers in every sector of the membership” the WGA stated in a press release. The leadership of the screenwriters’ organization must ratify the pact on Tuesday by a vote. The studios must now focus on resolving the conflict with the actors’ union, which is still on strike, so that productions can resume operations.

The studios and the WGA resumed negotiations on Wednesday after months of tension and a failed attempt to reach an agreement in mid-August. This time, there was a greater sense of urgency from both sides, who were concerned that further disagreement could have stretched the strike to 2024.

The main executives of the four studios attended the meetings with this in mind to show their willingness to negotiate. The parties set the goal of drafting the new contract before the Yom Kippur holidays, which began Sunday afternoon.

The negotiations were attended by Bob Iger, from Disney; David Zaslav from Warner Bros. Discovery; Netflix’s Ted Sarandos and NBCUniversal’s Donna Langley. The studio heads were present for three days at the meetings, which were held at the offices of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP).

Over the weekend, the studios were able to finalize the remaining details of the deal with the WGA. California Governor Gavin Newsom was also involved to ensure that both sides remained at the negotiating table. The strike has cost the state about $3 billion, according to a conservative estimate by California State University Northridge.

SAG-AFTRA actors and Writers Guild of America (WGA) writers rally during their ongoing strike, in Los Angeles, California, U.S. September 13, 2023.

SAG-AFTRA actors and Writers Guild of America (WGA) writers rally during their ongoing strike, in Los Angeles, California, U.S.

In the press release to announce the tentative agreement, the WGA made it clear that the strike is not over yet: “No one is to return to work until specifically authorized to by the Guild. We are still on strike until then.” The WGA’s 11,500 members must vote on the agreement.

This will happen after Tuesday, when the Negotiating Committee ratifies the deal once the final version of the text is ready. The deal is likely to be overwhelmingly approved by screenwriters, who have expressed their satisfaction for the resolution. Union members have also recognized the work of the Negotiating Committee, headed by Ellen Stutzaman.

While the strike continues until the deal is voted on, the WGA has brought an end to the picket lines at the gates of major studios in Los Angeles and New York, which have been in place since May 2.

If the strike had reached September 30, it would have become the longest in the history of the WGA, surpassing the 153 days of the 1988 strike. Actors, in the meantime, remain on strike, until they reach a deal with the studios.

According to the writers, the agreement was made possible after the studios agreed to reformulate the scope that artificial intelligence will have in the writing of content, and to set minimum rules for writers’ rooms.

During the strike, screenwriters complained that studios were abusing so-called mini rooms, a more compact version of a writers’ room. These mini rooms were used to develop more content for streaming platforms in less time and with fewer hands, which made the work more precarious. The new agreement establishes a minimum number of people who must write a television series.

One of the most insistent demands by the WGA was a review of the residual payment model. Residuals are compensation paid for the reuse of a credited writer’s work. The union argued that the previous scheme worked in the times of broadcast TV, but that adjustments needed to be made for the era of streaming. In the digital age, writers, producers and actors receive see hardly any compensation for shows that become hits on platforms.

The studios agreed to change the model to increase compensation depending on a show’s audience figures. This issue is also key to resolving the conflict with the actors’ union SAG-AFTRA, which has 160,000 members, and has been on strike for 72 days.

After the failed negotiations in August, the pickets at the doors of the studios became larger in September. The writers flexed their muscles when Drew Barrymore announced she would return to filming her CBS talk show. This provoked the anger of the scriptwriters, who argued that the popular actress was violating the strike. Barrymore defended herself by stating that many members of the production were suffering financial hardship after months without work. But she came under a lot of pressure.

After a week, Barrymore tearfully apologized in a video posted on social media and announced that she would not resume filming. Other television productions followed, reporting that they would not return until the strike was resolved.


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