Born at the start of 1990, Mariana has landed her dream job and she sleeps like a log, despite feeling slightly stressed from time to time. From Monday to Thursday she plays sports, Fridays and Saturdays she goes out with friends, Sunday is reserved for family, there might be a movie on Wednesdays and, every now and again, there’s sex.

“Very, very occasionally,” she says. “There are weeks when I don’t even think about it. Between getting home and watching a series, my work schedule, Pornhub and what I come across on Tinder — I can’t be bothered. I prefer to deal with it alone. There’s not much sex with anyone else.”

What Mariana doesn’t realize is that she’s one of many.

Whether someone is getting too much of something or too little depends on multiple variables — at the very least on what that something is and who is measuring it. If that something is sex, it is even more subjective. What is not subjective is that people are having less and less of it — less sex in general, and with each generation that comes along. With or without a partner. “It’s been happening for the past four decades,” notes José Díaz, the president of the Spanish Association of Clinical Sexology (AESC). Eusebio Rubio-Aurioles, former president of the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) and now advisor to WAS, adds that the phenomenon is specific to “what is understood by the West, where the economy has been changing, as has the traditional structure of society and family.” The same thing is not happening in Asia, Africa or Latin America. “The realities are different, and the quality and quantity of information is unbalanced. No funds are dedicated to this costly research,” he adds.

Where studies are carried out, there “is a clear trend.” And it has been more pronounced since 2010. Or at least more visible. But, as the WAS advisor points out, it is “difficult to respond with academic rigor.”

There are a range of possible explanations given by specialists, most of which overlap: precarious working conditions or longer working hours, stress and depression, and increasingly less stable relationships or confusion, especially among young people, exacerbated by the growing sexual freedom enjoyed by women.

Although the trend seems clear, an accurate picture is more complicated, particularly since there are no regular follow-up studies. According to Díaz, the U.S. has carried out just two longitudinal studies over 20 years.

The result of the first study showed that Americans had sex nine times less per year in the early 2010s than in the late 1990s: on average, they went from having 62 sexual relations per year to 53. The second study showed sexual frequency between 2000 and 2018, when sexual inactivity increased among young men and women up to age 34, but especially between 18 and 24, and mainly among singles. The same declines were seen in Germany, between 2005 and 2016; in Finland, between the late 1990s and the mid-2000s; and in Australia, between 2001 and 2013.

The third part of the Center for Social Research’s (CIS) survey on social and emotional relationships during the pandemic offers a snapshot of what is happening in Spain. The question posed was: which situation best describes your sentimental and sexual situation? The survey found that 17% “do not maintain any type of sentimental or sexual relationship” while 5.5% have “an intimate relationship without sexual relations.” Moreover, after the pandemic, frequency of sex had increased for 8%, and fallen for 16%.

In her 30s, Sara and her partner’s sex life nosedived: “In January 2022 we began to argue a lot, to put on weight, and be less comfortable with our bodies,” she says, adding that she got depressed.

Roser, 33, who had no stable relationship, encountered a different set of obstacles. “I live in Barcelona and have to share an apartment,” she says. “Sometimes I think more about disturbing the person on the other side of the wall than about my own pleasure. There are a lot of people about, but it’s hard to enjoy it, to hook up, to get enough satisfaction from it to want to do it again.” Regarding apps, she adds, “It’s pretty crazy. You can talk to a lot of people, but then you have to make it concrete. It makes you dizzy and I get to the point when I decide not to devote any more energy to that person. When I do devote more time, it’s almost never that much. I sometimes think, what’s the point?”

According to the National Institute of Statistics (INE), there are more than half a million shared flats and apartments in Spain. This, coupled with job insecurity, especially among young people, has had an impact on their sex lives, as does “any element of stress,” according to Díaz. “Stress is not an abstract concept,” he explains. “It produces hormonal changes that, among other things, generate high levels of cortisol and prolactin, two hormones that in turn decrease the level of testosterone, which is the hormone of desire, in both men and women. Chronic stress produces a decrease in desire.”

Anxiety and depression also play a significant role in undermining the libido. The Headway Mental Health 2022 report ranked Spain as the country with the second-highest number of mental health disorders in Europe, behind only Portugal. This affects mostly women, and increasingly adolescents. But these disorders are not confined to the Iberian Peninsula. More than 320 million people suffer from depression globally, 18% more than a decade ago.

Brenda, 27, a resident of Mexico City, is among them. She had to go back to her parents’ home and attributes her dwindling sex life to depression and medication: “Sertraline and, later, fluoxetine,” she says. “What struck me is that my individual sexual activity also decreased. I used to enjoy touching myself a lot, now I don’t feel anything.”

Anxiety and depression “are enemies of desire and enjoyment regarding sex,” says Díaz. “One of the symptoms of depression is the lack of desire, not just sexual but generally.” He explains that not all antidepressants reduce sex drive. While selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors do, there are others that “clearly stimulate it.” Experts also flag up masturbation and porn, as factors responsible for the decline in sexual relations.

The Nacho Vidal complex

Antoni Bolinches, clinical psychologist and author of Wise Sex, links the decrease in the frequency of sexual relations to two variables: “One is our stressful and complex work life.” Andrés, 34, is a prime example: “I get home around 10 p.m., so exhausted and with so many things on my mind that I barely have enough energy left to eat dinner.” Then there’s Nuria, 34, who has no partner, but rotates morning, afternoon, night and weekend shifts, which makes it difficult to coincide.

The other factor is men’s fear they won’t be able to perform. This fear is linked to two other issues. “The Nacho Vidal complex, triggered by the comparative affront of the erect penises in pornography,” and the change of roles between men and women “that has occurred over two generations,” involving the gradual disappearance “of the demanding man and the accepting woman,” says Bolinches.

“The freer the woman shows herself to be, the more men fear her,” he adds, thus producing the paradox that “the more sexual freedom, the more refuge in an autonomous and masturbatory sexuality.” Of the stories that reached EL PAÍS for this report, many made specific allusion to Bolinches’ point.

“They either tell me clearly or I lay off,” says Mau, 23. “I don’t know if it’s fear of rejection, of going over the line she has set or what.”

Meanwhile, Marcus, 33, says, “Now we ask questions that we didn’t ask before, and we often become self-conscious and censor ourselves. Flirting used to be an act of conquest by the man and surrender by the woman. Now it is much more horizontal, in the case of heterosexual relations.”

“Sometimes people are afraid to even get close,” says Claudia, 25. “But it’s easy to see when there is interest, right? What I do think is that there are things girls used to let go and now we don’t. Sexist jokes? Out. Racist bullshit? Out.” Claudia adds that these are just two of many things she will not put up with and it is difficult to find someone who won’t come out with something on the list. Nuria, the individual on the rotating shifts, believes women are less prepared to put up with stuff they don’t feel comfortable with. “We have raised the bar a lot,” she says. “We know what we want and what we don’t want. It used to be that you more or less put up and shut up but nowadays it’s more like, ‘I make my demands and if you don’t meet them, next.’”

Susana is in her 50s and holds a similar view. “I’m already old and I don’t come across anyone worthwhile,” she says. “My life is also very home-based. I work from home and it’s difficult to meet people. In the past, 80% of my relationships were sexually quite mediocre, bordering on bad. A snog, a fondle, and stick it in. Oral sex was scarce and when it happened it was generally bad. Guys are very influenced by porn, very phallic. I can’t be bothered anymore. It exhausts me. It pisses me off.”

Sporadic nature of relationships

Díaz points out that in these phallocentric situations the relationship is not between two people “but between two sets of genitals” and that this “impoverishes our quality of life.” Mariona Gabarra has been aware of this trend for the past eight years. She is a sexologist, and her theory is based on the sporadic nature of relationships, with the accompanying difficulty in maintaining “stable ties” that sociologist Eva Illouz flags up in her theory about the end of love.

Gabarra, who is also a consultant for Gleeden, a female platform dedicated to non-monogamous encounters, knows more and more young people in their 20s with sexual issues. In men, it’s erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. This is where expectations affect performance. It’s where “porn comes in, which is not bad in itself, but is bad as a substitute for sex education.”

“The upcoming generations are not grasping the fact that even if a relationship is sporadic, it is a relationship,” Gabarra adds. “If there is no complicity, chemistry or connection, there comes a time when sex doesn’t bring you anything. They have more freedom as many prejudices have disappeared, but they don’t enjoy sex, and they tell you so. They end up thinking that it’s not worth their time or effort to engage in that kind of relationship.” Jaime, 27, for example, says confinement has made him “used to” being alone. From a small village in Asturias in the north of Spain, he says he finds it much more effort than before to try to start something with someone and he is not always willing.

Meanwhile, Eusebio Rubio-Aurioles, of WAS, believes that the evolution of the Western world, which is increasingly individualized and where everything is postponed, is having a huge impact on the way we relate to each other: “The consequence? Less contact, less shared pleasure,” he says.” This chimes with the experience of Fernando (not his real name), 57. He ended a relationship just as he started a new job in which there was little chance of meeting people. Then, the pandemic sank his business. The last time he had a “more or less satisfying sexual relationship, it was sporadic and lasted just a few weeks” back in 2018.

Now he finds it “difficult” to find a woman who will stimulate him intellectually or attract him physically. So, he says, “the need, pleasure and desire are being shelved; and sex is becoming a memory. At 57, no one new enters my life.”

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MILITARY

Denmark’s government said on Monday that it was committing an additional $2.6 billion to a fund for aid for Ukraine, originally set up in March, bringing the fund’s total to $3.6 billion.

Published: 29 May 2023 17:24 CEST

In the last 12 years, Nick Cannon (San Diego, California, 42 years old) has had 12 children with six different women. Five of them were born in 2022. The actor and host, with a long career behind him, has become a regular in the gossip press, which announces each of his new descendants with shock and fascination. While his personal life has generated unusual interest recently, he is more than used to media attention. Far from feeling uncomfortable, he speaks freely about the most private aspects of his life.

In a recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, he attempted to explain his particular family vision. As he explained, during the pandemic, some of the women with whom he had an open relationship expressed their desire to be mothers. He accepted. ”A lot of them are in the same age group. And I just wanted to give them what they desired. I kept saying, ‘I can handle it,’” he says. Cannon avoids labels, but he has described his relationships as “consensual non-monogamy” in an interview live-streamed on YouTube last summer. “To even pretend like I’m in a monogamous relationship, that would be misleading. Because, as we know, monogamy defines one thing, and people like to classify what I do as polyamory or polygamy, but even that, I always say to define me is to confine me,” he added. Currently, Cannon is the father of 11 children (Zen Cannon, the fruit of his relationship with Alyssa Scott, died at the end of 2021 of brain cancer at only five months old). He is the father figure of an unconventional family.

Given that his children are spread across six different homes, it seems difficult for Cannon to be present in all of them. To those who call him irresponsible, the artist insists that all of his children are perfectly taken care of, including from a financial perspective. After The Sun speculated last year that Cannon paid three million dollars to support his children, the entertainer responded that the quantity was much larger, though he did not specify the number.

His growing family is the subject of most headlines about Nick Cannon. In April 2011, his first two children, the twins Moroccan and Monroe Cannon, were born to Mariah Carey, the only woman who he has married. The artists went to the altar in May 2008 in the Bahamas and were together until their divorce in 2016. Cannon has confessed that the singer was the love of his life, but the incompatibility of their personalities ultimately posed an obstacle to the relationship. “Imagine if, like, Trump and Putin had to live in the same house,” he told the Los Angeles Times, alluding to his marriage.

After the twins, in February 2017, the model Brittany Bell gave birth to Golden Sagon Cannon. She would also have Powerful Queen Cannon in December 2020. In June 2021, the entertainer again became a father of twins, Zion and Zillion, this time with Abby De La Rosa. Only nine days later, his seventh child, Zen, was born. With the announcement of his eighth child, Legendary Love, with the model Bre Tiesi, in July 2022, he decided to stop and reflect, starting a period that he has called “celibate.”

“My therapist was one of the [people] who said I should probably be celibate,” he said on his radio program. He maintained the decision for months. At some point, though, it ended, because in September 2022, he became the father for the ninth and tenth time, with the model Lanisha Cole (mother of Onyx Ice) and, again, with Brittany Bell (Rise Messiah). Baby number 11, Beautiful Zeppelin, arrived in November, his second child with Abby De La Rosa. And the last one, Halo Marie, came at the end of 2022 with Alyssa Scott.

Fatherhood has caused Cannon to reflect on his own shortcomings, and a few years ago, he decided to resume his education and go to college. He told Forbes that he felt a sense of “emptiness” when he saw his children go through the education process. In May 2020, he announced on Twitter that he had graduated from Howard University, an emblematic institution of African-American education, with a major in Criminology and Administration of Justice and a minor in African Studies.

From a street gang to a host on ‘The Masked Singer’

Aware of the interest in his private life, Cannon draws attention to his work whenever he can. His career began with Nickelodeon, the youth entertainment chain that also put celebrities like Ariana Grande on the map. In 1994, he was part of the cast of All That, which continued for 10 seasons. Since then, he has formed a career as an actor and host, with some forays into the music industry.

Before landing his first big TV contract, his youth had been complicated. His parents were just teenagers when they had him, and he was raised primarily by his paternal grandfather. His father was one of the founding members of the San Diego Lincoln Park Bloods gang and spent time in prison. There, he found religion, and upon his release, he moved to North Carolina. Nick joined his father there, where the senior Cannon had a public television show that awakened Nick’s interest in the entertainment world.

The teenager started performing stand-up in bars, and he met Jaime Foxx, who glimpsed Cannon’s potential and brought him into his circle of African-American friends. Among them was Will Smith, who Cannon has publicly thanked for his success: “He told me that I reminded him of him. …[Will] gave me a TV deal, a record deal, put me in Men in Black II. He was truly a mentor when I was 16 and always was a great example,” he said on The Howard Stern Show after Will Smith’s infamous slap at the 2022 Oscars.

In addition to Men in Black (2002), Cannon played the lead role in the 2002 film Drumline, but he rejected projects as notable as Crash, which won the Oscar for best film in 2006. The actor has spoken about how, in the early years of his career, he prioritized economically appealing contracts above others: “I was just trying to get my mom out the hood. I went for the money a lot of times. There were huge directors that wanted to meet with me, and I’d be like, ‘How much?’ I was so good that if I would have focused on my craft, things could have been different,” he told the LA Times.

At the beginning of the millennium, he formed part of the group of pop-culture celebrities led by Paris Hilton. He partied with the controversial heiress and her circle of friends, which included Kim Kardashian, with whom he had a relationship of a little over a year when the host was 26 and the Calabasas businesswoman 25. And though the major film roles continued to recede, he never lacked work.

At 42 years old, he has a notable position in the entertainment industry. His family life is intense, and his work brings one project after another, whether on television or radio or in business. Today, he is a host on The Masked Singer, the successful South Korean show whose United States edition began in 2019. According to Cannon himself, he makes $10 million each season for the show. He also hosts Wild ‘N Out, a program for freestyle comics that was created in 2005 and now is on its 21st season on VH1. Cannon also owns sports-themed bars and restaurants around the US, as well as his own production company, Ncredible Studios.

Recently, he has appeared on the Fox program Beat Shazam, a game show presented by actor Jamie Foxx until his sudden hospitalization in April. Along with his friend Kevin Hart, Cannon just released Celebrity Prank Wars on Amazon Freevee. And he also hosts Counsel Culture, where he moderates conversations with men about current issues. He is also the face of a daily radio show, The Daily Cannon, released in April for Amazon’s application AMP. And in film, his latest role is a powerful agent on Hollywood Heist, a title which will also bring Alec Baldwin’s return to the big screen after the tragedy that occurred during the filming of Rust.

His professional commitments bring in earnings of $100 million a year, according to Cannon himself. His presence on television has made the artist a familiar face in the homes of families in the United States, who have also witnessed the growth of the host’s family off-screen.

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